Infertility is painful in many ways, but feeling like my body is broken is especially problematic. I feel like I’m fighting against it. No matter what I do it won’t conform to “normal”.
I feel like a failure.
The changes “they” tell me to make are overwhelming at best. And what if they don’t work? What if I follow this diet and take all the right supplements and it doesn’t work? Why can’t I get pregnant?
If you’ve been trying to get pregnant and struggling with feeling broken, know that you are not alone. So many women (couples) are in the same place and your feeling are normal.
Coping with infertility is hard enough – let’s deal with these feelings and move to a place of finding peace with our bodies instead of constant struggle.
Asher and I got together and made this video specifically for you. <3
The truth behind feeling like your body is broken
(the following written by Asher, naturopath)
Do you want to know the truth?
The truth is that you’ve been lied to.
In fact, most of us have been. And most of us believe the lie.
We’re taught it subtly and aggressively almost from the moment we are born.
We’re taught that our bodies are bad. That there is something totally and completely wrong with them. They’re defective and need to be twisted, molded and changed to be something else, something different, something better than how and what they naturally are. Better than how WE are.
This lie is loud and too easy to believe.
And it gets louder and easier to believe when our bodies don’t function as we think they should.
Maybe we struggle with depression.
Maybe it’s that we’ve gained weight even though we’re doing all the right things (ugh!).
Or maybe we’ve tried everything, and we mean EV-ER-Y-THING known to mankind to conceive and carry a baby to term. It just hasn’t happened. And, on top of everything else, there are babies and pregnant couples everywhere.
We then begin to internalize what we perceive as failure as being inherently defective.
It’s an easy thing to do because we are constantly and consistently sold the idea that we’re not enough, nor are we doing enough.
It’s not true.
When we find out something is wrong with our body our first instinct is often to do something to fix that particular problem. Take ibuprofen for a headache. Antacid for heartburn. Cough suppressant for a cough. And we can carry this mindset over to natural health. Take this herb for that, this vitamin or mineral for this.
When we take a step back though there is another way to look at our bodies.
Instead of assuming that our bodies are defective and bad we can assume that they are good.
We can believe that all our symptoms are messages about what’s going on inside the body. We can believe that our body is inherently working for our survival, not our destruction, and that even the most painful diseases, illnesses, and symptoms are a result of our body’s best efforts given all that it has and doesn’t have to work with.
When we look at our bodies as innately good and wise we can take a deep breath and begin to lay down our self-loathing.
Not every supplement or herb will work for everyone. Why? Well, because, like people, herbs have constitutions—an individual make up that helps us know exactly who and what they’ll be helpful for.
This explains why, in so many situations, a herb or supplement works for one person but not someone else.
It’s not that natural health won’t work and it’s certainly not the fault of your body. Not at all. Your body is good. SO GOOD. Even if it’s hard to believe.
A really popular method of changing our mindset is affirmations. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say to you that affirmations are an end-all-be-all. They can feel foreign and weird and insincere. That said, they can be helpful if it’s meaningful to you.
Take a moment then to sit down and really consider what is meaningful to you. What do you want to believe? What do need to believe?
Start there.
And know that even with all the symptoms your body is giving you to let you know something’s off and in need of support, you’re whole. You’re good. Your body is strong, wise and capable.
Donielle Baker
Gluten-free strawberry muffins