Your body and heart have special needs during and after a miscarriage. I’ve asked my dear friend Michele, of Frugal Granola to share a 3 part series with on us on the healing after miscarriage – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The ache of empty arms after a miscarriage can feel especially acute if you ignore the spiritual aspects of the healing journey. In your grief, it can be difficult to imagine celebrating, but I want to recognize you as a mama, the one who carried this precious little one, and nourished him/her within in you.
I believe it is the Lord who creates life, and puts families together. He chose to create this little life, and place it in the intimacy of your womb for those days.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16)
As parents, we are never given a guarantee how long we will have our children. Of course, we all hope to hold them in our arms, and joyfully see them grow up in our ripe old age.
But many times, God allows us only a short time with our little ones. (I love how Angie and her family embraced this, in celebrating the short days of their precious daughter.) Many foster/adoptive parents understand this concept as well, pouring themselves with thankfulness into each given day full of an unknown future.
Whether the time is short or long between discovering this little life within and having to say goodbye, releasing can be an incredibly painful, angering process. Just as with anything (or anyone) in life, God calls us to surrender to Him; as Kim Brenneman
(mother of nine) says,
“Hold things with a light hand, because they are not yours in the first place. They belong to God.”
This doesn’t mean feeling “unattached” or flippant about the blessing you’ve been given, but recognizing the omniscient sovereignty of God, who will walk through these agonizing days with you. I say this not to be insensitive, but to encourage you.
You may benefit from a short season of walking with a counselor or grief support group, as you journey on a daily basis through this releasing, and walking toward healing in a healthy way, free of bitterness and anger. (Many hospitals or midwives can help direct you to local groups.)
I also found it helpful to mull over the concept that this little soul could now worship God in heaven; not as an angel, but as the child of God I am raising all my little ones to be. What a precious honor of motherhood! I look forward to the day when we can all rejoice together!
My blessings and prayers go with you today, dear one.
Michele and her husband Calvin live a simple & sustainable life as innkeepers at Hampton Creek Inn in rural Washington with their two little ones. Michele loves encouraging women and equipping them for frugal, natural living through her blog, Frugal Granola.