Your body and heart have special needs during and after a miscarriage. I’ve asked my dear friend Michele, of Frugal Granola to share a 3 part series with on us on the healing after miscarriage – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
A flood of emotions may pour over you in your journey through miscarriage. Grief is always a fluctuating, organic experience. It’s not a time of predictable “stages.” You won’t always know what is coming next, and waves of grief may catch you by surprise.
In addition, husbands and wives will grieve differently, often being in different “stages” in any one day. (My husband wrote about our infertility/miscarriage experience here from his point of view.)
Take time as husband and wife to rest and grieve together, sharing your hearts’ dreams and disappointments. In the midst of raw grief and hormonal fluctuations, conversations can be challenging at first, but try to keep communication open and full of grace during this season.
Choosing a name for the baby, scrapbooking/journaling, and/or planning a small memorial service can be healing steps. Even just lighting a candle can be a soothing reminder.
Visiting favorite restful getaways or mini retreats can be helpful to the healing journey, whether alone or together. A quiet time of prayer on a forest hike, a weekend of watching stormy waves on the beach, a walk though local rose gardens, or a stay at a bed & breakfast or campsite may help revive your spirit and give you time to walk through your grief.
Telling others about your loss can be an especially challenging part of the journey. Writing a letter to extended family and friends, in a card expressing your heart, can be a simple way of sharing about your loss without having to voice the same sad words repeatedly.
Phone calls to close family and friends are an opportunity to let them know how they can help support you in the coming weeks (meals, house cleaning, childcare, as well as telling others for you).
As people hear about your loss, they may express often well-meaning, but insensitive or painful thoughts. In the rawness of your grief, these words may especially catch you by surprise.
It may be helpful to prayerfully prepare in advance (before going out into public) some affirming words that you can speak in response, which honor the miracle of the little soul you carried- and will always love. (We’ll talk more about the spiritual aspects of miscarriage in the next segment.)
If you have journeyed through a miscarriage, what words were affirming for you during this time?
Michele and her husband Calvin live a simple & sustainable life as innkeepers at Hampton Creek Inn in rural Washington with their two little ones. Michele loves encouraging women and equipping them for frugal, natural living through her blog, Frugal Granola.